


If Only In Dreams

by agrajag



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Derek Nurse had ADHD, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10355823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: With every little thing Derek learned, it made him fall even more. It began to feel like he truly knew Dex. He had been so closed off from the rest of the team at the beginning of the year, but it was clear he trusted them now. It really helped Derek's imagination as he spent his time day dreaming about how he could tell Dex that he liked him and possible first dates that they could go on. By the time Derek was moving his things into his dorm room at the end of August, imaginary him and imaginary Dex were already going steady.Too bad real Dex had no idea about Derek's infatuation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this story from otp--prompts. The original prompt was Person A has a crush on Person B and daydreams about being a couple to the point where they start referring to themselves as a couple out loud and I was like, okay, that's Derek Nurse.
> 
> When will I ever write a story that's _not_ them getting together??? The world may never know.

Derek had always been a daydreamer. As his mother would say, when one of her friends or a teacher would be trying to get his attention, he had his head in the clouds. It definitely played a part in how clumsy he could be. He'd be distracted thinking about some plays the team was developing or bits of poetry he was working out and then next thing he knew, he'd be walking straight into a wall. His father had been worried it would be a problem for Derek later on in life, so despite some protesting from his mother, Derek had been sent to a therapist and was diagnosed with ADHD. That led to discussions of medication and treatment. He had been too young to really remember much, but he had been put on Adderall at one point, although eventually he was given a choice if he wanted to stay on it. He'd go through phases of medication, but he found it only helped occasionally. Plus, even when he was able to concentrate on one thing at a time, it felt unnatural. As long as he turned in his schoolwork on time, he thought there was nothing wrong with a little daydreaming once in awhile.

Over the summer, he learned the Irish called it being away with the fairies. He had gone to visit Dex and he had to use all of his self control not to chirp him in front of his family. After a year of Dex protesting that he wasn't Irish just because of his red hair and freckles, it turns out that his grandfather had immigrated to the United States from Ireland in the 50s, and the rest of the Poindexters were very much in touch with their heritage. Later though, when he and Dex were setting up an air mattress in Dex's room, Derek had no problems chirping him. It wasn't biting like it had been before, during the school year. It appeared that sometime over the past few months, they had gone from straight up fighting to casual banter. He had been too busy asking Dex if he'd ever seen any leprechauns that he didn't even see what it was that he tripped over. He ended up sprawled out on the half full air mattress that had saved him.

"You're always away with the fairies," Dex had said as he shook his head. Derek had been surprised Dex wasn't laughing like he normally would be at his clumsiness that he hadn't bothered asking what the saying meant until later. "Someday it's gonna bite you in the ass."

"Wow, bro, that was _almost_ poetic."

He had gotten a pillow to the face for that one, but it had been worth it.

Probably because that trip was when Derek realized that he had a crush on Dex.

At first, he had been in denial. There was no way he had a crush on Dex. Frustrating, quick to judge, obnoxious... good with his hands, loyal, strong... Dex.

_Shit._

Denial didn't even last a day. Thankfully, he didn't have to see Dex again until school started. Derek had been sure he could get over the little crush before summer vacation was over and not ruin the entire dynamic of the team with his stupid feelings. It had seemed like the perfect plan, but Derek hadn't accounted for the group chat. Dex didn't message it as often as the other guys during the summer since he was busy working on his uncle's boat, but once in awhile he would comment on what everyone else was discussing. The topic of conversation ranged from the mundane to serious to the extremely ridiculous. Through the rest of the summer, Derek learned that Dex wasn't actually Republican, he loved scary movies, and his favorite food were the biscuits from a local diner. With every little thing Derek learned, it made him fall even more. It began to feel like he truly knew Dex. He had been so closed off from the rest of the team at the beginning of the year, but it was clear he trusted them now. It really helped Derek's imagination as he spent his time day dreaming about how he could tell Dex that he liked him and possible first dates that they could go on. By the time Derek was moving his things into his dorm room at the end of August, imaginary him and imaginary Dex were already going steady.

Too bad real Dex had no idea about Derek's infatuation.

It had to stay that way, however. They were friends now, but Derek still had to walk on eggshells around Dex. He still had the tendency to revert back to picking a fight. That alone was a sign that it wasn't a good idea for them to be together. Derek knew it would be unhealthy if they fought like that at every little disagreement. It was unhealthy for them to do that as friends, and he had sworn to himself he was going to fix that. He wasn't going to stop all the innocent bickering, but he was definitely going to be kinder and gentler with Dex. He just had to make sure that he didn't cross any lines from being a better friend to "I obviously have romantic feelings for you." Which could be difficult when his brain was moving at a hundred miles per hour and often left Derek behind in the dust.

The first time Derek had referred to him and Dex as a couple didn't count. He hadn't even actually said anything. He met up with some of his friends from his poetry group at Annie's and Lilia had asked, "So, how's your boyfriend doing?"

"Stressed, but what else is new? Dex couldn't be chill if he tried. Like, I keep telling him, it's the first week. There's nothing to really be stressed about."

Everyone at the table got really quiet and Derek was confused before he realized what Lilia had said.

"Dude, did you finally get your shit together and ask him out?"

"What do you mean? I don't like Dex like that," Derek said, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. He was sure he failed. "I've been talking to hockey bros all summer. You guys should have wrote more. I've gotten to used to that kind of joking. Like, my partner on the ice. My boyfriend. See?"

Yeah... none of them were buying that, but they were kind enough to change the subject to planning the first poetry reading of the semester. Derek told them he'd sit this once out since he knew everything he had written over the summer made it incredibly obvious that he did like Dex _like that_. Very much so.

The second time was with Chowder. They had just finished up their first Saturday morning practice of the year, and with minimal complaining from everyone, and Chowder had suggested that Derek join him, Dex, and Farmer for lunch so that they could all catch up.

"Sweet. Double date," Derek said and held out his fist. He waited a few seconds before realizing Chowder was not going to bump it and was, in fact, staring at him with his mouth wide open.

"Did you and Dex start dating went you went to visit him last month? Or was it after? Don't tell me it was before! Nursey, I couldn't handle it if you guys were together at the end of last year and I didn't know! I'm your best friend. You're supposed to tell me things like this! I can keep a secret. Oh, is it a secret from the rest of the team? Is this why you haven't mentioned it yet?"

"C, breathe," Derek said. He patted Chowder on the back while he caught his breath. "And sorry to confuse you, man. Me and Dex aren't dating. It was just a little joke."

"A joke?" Chowder frowned. "Dex didn't say... Never mind. You shouldn't joke about stuff like that."

Chowder started walking before Derek could respond, and left him scrambling to catch up.

"Wait... what? Chowder, you can't say something like that and walk away."

Chowder ignored him the entire way to Jerry's where, coincidentally, the third incident occurred.

Dex and Farmer were already seated a booth, so Derek and Chowder joined them. Derek had been hoping that once they got there, Chowder would start talking about summer and the walk to Jerry's would be forgotten. However, there was already tension in the air in the booth. Farmer was watching Dex with a look of concern as he picked at a napkin. There was a little pile of scraps on the table suggesting this wasn't the first one he had nervously picked apart.

"Hey guys," Farmer said as Chowder sat down next to her. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, which seemed to calm her down. Derek knew Chowder would take the spot by Farmer of course, but he was still reluctant to sit next to Dex. He stood for a moment and watched Dex's fingers pick and crumple. It was another minute or so before he stopped and took a deep breath.

"Jesus, Nursey, sit down. You're making me even more nervous," he said.

"Why are you nervous to begin with man?" he asked as he slid into the booth, resting his arm along the backrest. He had to be doubly chill if Dex wasn't.

"I'm getting to that." Another deep breath. "Alright, so I kinda already told Chowder when I was asking him to get us all together for lunch, so sorry about that. I wanted to tell all of you together because you three are my best friends. And I already told my family over the summer, so this is the next step, right?"

"Next step?" Farmer asked.

"Yeah, so, uh, guys... I'm gay. There."

"Dex! I'm so happy for you," Farmer said. She attempted to lean over the table and hug Dex. The torn napkins ended up all over the floor.

"Thanks Farmer."

"And I know I said it this morning, but again, I'm proud of you Dex," Chowder said. "I'm happy you feel comfortable telling us."

The waitress came then and took everyone's orders, so the conversation became derailed. When she walked away, Farmer was telling Dex he had made the right choice trying the french toast because it was to die for, and she was honestly offended that he hadn't had it before. Derek was trying, and failing, to not stare at Dex as he remembered some of the day dreams he had about Dex coming out. He was thinking that this trumped all of them when he felt Chowder kick him in the shin.

"Dude, seriously, C?" He glared at Chowder who glared back before nodding toward Dex. "Okay, man. I just needed a moment."

"Trying to catch up?" Dex chirped.

"Yeah, yeah. But honestly... thanks for trusting us, babe."

Dex blushed. "Okay, no more chirping. Let's just enjoy our lunch."

Derek didn't need Chowder to kick him again. He wanted to kick himself. He couldn't believe he let a "babe" slip. He was going to totally drown himself in his soup when it came.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek didn't drown in his soup. It was too delicious to waste, if he was being honest.

Sometimes he wished he had. The little slip ups continued to happen. He couldn't be sure if it was a good thing or if he had the worst luck on the planet, but it only seemed to happen with only Dex around. On the one hand, he was grateful he didn't have to deal with Chowder glaring at him for "teasing Dex" or, God forbid, Ransom and Holster making him pay up to the Sin Bin. On the other hand, however, this meant he had a one ticket show to Dex blushing as he brushed off Derek's accidental affections. Sometimes it happened over text, so Derek didn't have to worry about a heart attack due to cuteness overload, but he was more likely to say something out loud than over text. He had to be extremely distracted to send something to Dex without realizing his mistake and backspacing as quick as possible. He may occasionally use an excessive amount of heart emojis, but he used an excessive amount of emojis period and with everyone else, so Dex seemed to think he wasn't getting any special treatment. That Derek was just like that with his close friends. Which he was, in a way. Derek didn't hide his love for Chowder or Farmer or Bitty, but he was amazed Dex couldn't see it was clearly different with him. So of course this led Derek to believe that Dex wasn't interested in him and didn't know how to say anything, so he stoically ignored it.

So yeah. Good thing? Or worst luck on the planet?

In Derek's mind, Dex went to his poetry readings and told him how proud he was as he held his hand afterward and Dex would let him pay for his coffee at Annie's once in awhile because he knew Derek was just trying to do something nice and Dex would let Derek be the little spoon while they cuddled when no one else would ever let him. For once, Derek felt like he was letting his imagination get too far away from him. It was only making things worse. He'd walk into the kitchen at the Haus to see Dex helping Bitty with a pie, and without second thought, he'd be wiping flour of Dex's face while saying, "You got something there, babe." He'd rest his head on Dex's shoulder as they worked on plays together in the library. He'd watch a scary movie with Dex so he could cuddle up next to him when he inevitably got scared.

Derek had almost convinced himself that it was enough. That he could live happily with these fleeting moments even if they didn't mean the same thing to Dex, but he knew that it wasn't fair to either of them. He decided he had to be brave. He was going to tell Dex and that he was sorry for taking advantage of his friendship and that he hoped that this would affect them on the ice. He could do this.

He was still a little anxious, though, so instead of attempting to text Dex to ask if he could come over and then proceeding to chicken out, he called him.

"Hey Nursey," Dex said. He sounded sleepy even though it was the afternoon.

"Yo Dex. You busy?"

"I mean, I was about to take a nap, but I got a few minutes. Why? What's up?"

"Could I come over for a bit? It won't take too long."

"Sure. That's cool. The door will be open. See ya in a few."

"Yeah, I'll see ya. Love ya."

Derek froze. He could feel his phone starting to slip from his hands, and he quickly fumbled with it before it could hit the ground. He could just make out Dex laughing awkwardly and saying, "Love ya too, buddy." before hanging up. He couldn't make himself move. What he had done was way worse than stealing a few cuddles during movie night. There was no way Dex was ever going to forgive him now because he Derek did come clean, Dex was going to know that it was more than a simple crush. Derek had said he loved him. He had only started daydreaming about the first time one of them would say those words, but then again, he had only realized that he was not just falling for his friend. He was falling in love with him. Derek wished he could take back the last two minutes, but now Dex was waiting for him, and he couldn't back down. He was going to be brave, he had told himself, so that was what he was going to do.

The walk to Dex's dorm from Derek's took about five minutes. This time, it took Derek almost ten. He signed into the guest book at the front desk and made his way to Dex's room. That took almost three more minutes. By the time he let himself in, Derek had worked himself up so much that at first he didn't realize that Dex was crying. All Derek could see was the lump that was Dex curled up on the bed and thought he must have fallen asleep after all, but then there came a sniffle and Derek was rushing over to Dex's side.

"Dex? Are you alright?" he asked as he tentatively rubbed his shoulder.

"Please... don't touch me."

Derek pulled back fast, as if he had been burned. "Dex, I'm so sorry, man. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No! Don't be sorry," Dex said as he sat up. He rubbed his eyes which didn't help his situation. Fresh tears continued to fall down his face. "I just don't think I can take it anymore."

"I know. That's what I came here to talk about. I didn't mean to keep doing all these couple like things with you. I kinda messed up there, though, on the phone. I just made it worse."

"It's alright." Another sniffle. "I thought I'd be alright with it. I kept telling myself that, you know, we're actually friends now. You're just super close with your friends. I see you hugging Farmer all the time and picking up Bitty to spin him around and stuff. I told myself I could handle it because you are one of my best friends, but I was wrong. I was fucking wrong."

At first Derek had been scared that Dex didn't want to be touched because he knew about Derek's feelings, but the way he was talking, it sounded like he meant in general. Derek went from concerned about their friendship to concerned about Dex's well being.

"Are you touch adverse? I can talk to the guys about it if you want me to. So no one else makes you uncomfortable."

Dex glared at him, which with his nose red and his hair mussed, only made him look adorable. "Nurse, you know it's not that. Like, I appreciate it. For you not making a big deal out of my crush on you, but I think we need to clear the air."

"Wait. You have a crush on me?"

"How could you not tell?" Dex asked, his eyes wide. "I was so obvious."

"No you weren't! I was the obvious one!"

"Obvious? You're touchy feely with everyone! Are you saying _you_ have a crush on _me_?"

Derek couldn't help but laugh a little. "Yes, Poindexter. I literally just ended our phone call saying I loved you. Like, I have the biggest crush on you."

And there was the infamous Dex blush. Derek almost missed it since Dex's face was red from crying, but he would know that blush anywhere. It was a different shade then the blotches on Dex's face, which, were still cute in their own way, although Derek was sad that Dex had been crying for it to happen.

"I thought that was just another Nurse-thing. It was killing me, though. I said it back and, like, I meant it and I thought you didn't and... that's why..."

"Hey, it's alright," Derek said as he pulled Dex into a hug. "You were upset. There's nothing wrong with that. And now you don't have a reason to be upset, because I totally meant it too."

"Good," Dex said. He buried his face in Derek's shirt and made himself comfortable. Looked like he was going to take his nap after all. Derek didn't mind joining him. He laid back and positioned them so they would be a bit more comfortable and then closed his eyes. Before he could drift off, Dex spoke up. "I'm not allowing you to get away with an afternoon nap as our first date, Nurse."

Derek laughed and hugged Dex even closer. "Don't worry. I've got plenty of ideas for a good first date."


End file.
